i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Four minutes until I can fart!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
