CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
