Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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