Where did you get a picture of my penis
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
