i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
