Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
