well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
