lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
