Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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