what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
