dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
