there's paper in my vomit.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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