Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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