we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
