I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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