i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my shit smells like andre
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
