Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize