All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
