I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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