when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
