I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize