So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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