Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
