a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I've blown a few things in my day
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
