Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize