I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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