I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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