Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
