theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize