you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Randomize
