whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Randomize
