It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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