A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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