My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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