I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
