My hand turned me down
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
