Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
