but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
