one might say we're banned from that church
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize