You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
