Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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