thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
do nipples grow back?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
