so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
