I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can I color on your dick again?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
