I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I sprained my soul last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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