After last night, I could never be a politician.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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