What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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