so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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