did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
