Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am puke
i just had sex bonerless
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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