Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
