NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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