You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
