don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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