When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize