But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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