marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
