OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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