I'm laying in your front yard are you home
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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