she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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