you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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