yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize