even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
