You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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