I wish I could teleport
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
