i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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