Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
