I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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