We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
